Thursday, July 12, 2012

Major foodie disappointment

I realize I'm a little late to the game on this topic, but after so many years of enjoying fine Los Angeles eating establishments (and because Jiro makes such divine sushi in I've seen but not yet tasted), I decided to check out the Michelin restaurant guide for Los Angeles....


What do you mean there isn't a Los Angeles guide? Say it isn't so!
Apparently, the only 2012 guides available (in the US) are for New York, Chicago, and San Francisco. 

San Francisco?! No offense, San Francisco, but you're like, the size of my medium-sized lady foot. 

I heard rumors that perhaps LA isn't "fancy" enough and/or that we don't care about genuinely good food. Basically, that we are shallow. Well, um, I've dined in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, as well as many other large cities of the world and LA has the best food in the world. Sorry, it's true. You're not going to find this much diversity of such high quality food anywhere. I often eat Mexican food at Olvera Street for lunch or hit up a Chinatown restaurant on my break. I can eat Ethiopian food, choose from a thousand Korean restaurants, and enjoy Thai food in Thai town in the middle of the night. And I'm not talking about crappy food, either. I'm talking about quality. 

I wrote to Michelin wanting to know the reason for this massive failure. 

I inquired,

I am wondering why Los Angeles no longer has a guide. So disappointing. The city is the second largest in the country with an extremely diverse population in addition to a large tourism industry. Why the snub? There are some top notch restaurants and chefs in this urban area and I'm trying to understand why Michelin would discontinue their restaurant guide for this special and unique area.

Surprisingly, they wrote me back.

They said,

Dear Jolene:

Thank you for your email dated July 10, 2012 inquiring about our Los Angeles Guide.

Unfortunately due to economic circumstances, we were forced to suspend the Los Angeles guide indefinitely. Despite this temporary suspension, we are still very much focused on monitoring this market and most certainly recognize the excellence there. We are deeply disappointed not to be able to highlight the fantastic selection of restaurants this great city has to offer, but hope to resume publishing editions in the very near future.

Consideration and renewal depends on several factors such as economic performance of the company, consumer demand, marketing strategy, and sales potential. Hearing from our readership is also very important to our decision making process.

Thank you for taking the time to write to us and for your kind interest in our publication. We take consumer feedback seriously, so in the future you may always write to us directly at:

Hmmmmmmm....well, at least they had an answer for my important question. I'm still not happy about this, though. Not happy at all. Shape up, Michelin! Pull your heads out of your snobby arses!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

You blow, Stephanie Meyer.

As I was driving home today I couldn't help but notice the massive, Godzilla-sized Breaking Dawn Part I poster at Hollywood and Highland. The vomit almost came up, but I successfully kept it down - barfing while driving in LA (or anywhere for that matter) could cause a car crash. 

I will admit that when the books first came out I was interested in them and hung my "Team Jacob" patch up at my desk. I would even go so far as to say I enjoyed reading Breaking Dawn. It's the book in the trilogy with the most action. I love easy reads. I'm the romance novel master (mistress)!  However, once I saw that ginormous money making monster was not just a fun silly story,  I began to think twice about the series. To some girls (and middle aged women) Bella is their idol and the luckiest character alive! I mean, she met her true love in high school, had two hot guys fighting over her, and chose immortal life with the pale bloodsucking one (should have chosen the dark hotter one). Wait, hold up, what? Ok, so this young girl falls "in love" with some vampire who has been alive for a zillion years and he's not considered a total pervert? Isn't he a little old to be preying upon a high school girl? And, c'mon, is it at all plausible that he would just absolutely REFUSE to have sex with her until she marries him? What is this? 19 fucking 50? Not that I'm condoning teen sex (oh yeah, Edward isn't a teen but you get the idea), but that's just the reality, people. Oh wait, I forgot this is fantasy, right? And girls in fantasies don't have minds of their owns. Because it would have been unthinkable for Bella to have a mind of her own, go to college, and go to med school (or go into some other profession.. really, any profession), ditching the vampire pervert in the dust. It's just plain sad that any kind of woman would look up to a character like Bella. She's not even written as a fully formed character. It's obvious that she's some two-dimensional character written by a woman who, quite possibly, never got to live the life she wanted to lead so she pathetically penned her adolescent fantasy and made millions (billions) off of it. 

Let's be honest, Stephanie Meyer is not that great of a writer. Her writing is probably on par with most seventh graders (newspapers write at a fifth grade level so maybe I'm being generous). And the fact that her massive fortune is probably tithed to a "church" that spent an enormous chunk of funds to take away civil rights in California (remember Prop 8?!?), gives me an even more bitter taste in my mouth. 

I'm not saying to cover your daughter's (or mom's) eyes. I'm saying you should make them aware of what they're watching and why it absolutely sucks. Teach your women to be strong, to have character, to nourish their brains and be someone. I'm absolutely certain that women can do this while at the same time falling in love and having a family. We're more than just flat pieces of cardboard. 

(If you want to watch the movie to see that hottie Taylor Lautner, I fully support you.)

Monday, August 22, 2011


My story, "KENNA'S VIRGO" was released last week by Torquere Press.
It's only $2.99 on their site! GO GET IT!!!


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Fiction without the erotic

I forgot how emotionally draining it can be to write fiction. And when I say fiction I am meaning without the erotic. I just completed one of the first just-plain-ol-literary-fiction stories I've written in a long time. And it was rough. In fact, it made me completely grumpy and emotional. Based on a dream I had last week, the story ate away at me until I typed it out. I wanted to turn the images into something completely feminist and something influenced by both Mary Caponegro and Kafka. Something that dealt with gender, love, transformation, appearances, and what it means to be alive. After probably four days or so of writing, I finished it.

There have been some erotic stories I've penned that have taken a lot out of me ("Parker's Mustache," "A Million Camilles," "The Summer of Bobby") but never like this story. I'm not sure what it means. All I know is that finishing it and having my husband read and edit it was completely cathartic and necessary.

Hopefully one day I can find a home for it.

Friday, July 08, 2011

Enjoying the heat?

Holy cannoli it's been hot outside!

After a lovely trip to New England, I've been inside (where it's cool) working on editing a lengthy 35-page story for Torquere Press. It's part of the Sapphic Planet line of zodiac stories we're publishing with Torquere. As you can see in the pic, my Sphynx rather enjoys writing and editing lesbian erotica as well. Well, he IS my son, after all.

I'll be sticking around inside to do more writing. I'll keep you posted on any new happenings in this area. Hopefully you've picked up Cole Riley's, "Too Much Boogie" and have read my story, "The Summer of Bobby."

Keep it cool!


Wednesday, June 08, 2011

a note

I have not slept since I read House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski.

That was over two years ago.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


I woke up this morning to read that the anthology, "To Love and to Cherish" won an award! That's right, it was the 2010 Lesbian Fiction Readers Choice favorite anthology. <3 <3
I am so pleased and honored to have been included in this collection with so many top authors.
Congrats to my fellow authors! And to everyone who hasn't checked out the collection, please do so! All proceeds go to MARRIAGE EQUALITY.

You can find it on amazon or on the publisher's site directly - LOVE YOU DIVINE - There's even a free read option so you can test it out before you purchase. I encourage you do download at least one volume to check out the stories. My story, My Doris, My Love, is in volume 1: On Bended Knee.

I LOVE hearing this kind of news!!!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Musings of a new bride...

The glow has not worn off yet. My honey and I got hitched less than a week ago and I am still feeling the wedding love, which is not surprising since I've loved him for nearly seven years now. I guess I'm just feeling lucky that I found someone who is so perfect for me. Someone so supportive and someone who balances me out. We have everything I could ever want in a relationship. Considering all of the bad relationships I've seen, heard about, and been through, it's almost a miracle that this happened! I cherish him, us, and our kitty. I can't wait for our family to grow.......

I find it weird that some people seem taken aback by the fact that I did not and will not change my name. It is 2011 - not 1911. I fully support women changing their names and even more fully support men and women who change their names together! But it just wasn't for us. I did a little reading up on the whole name change thing before our nuptials. In the United States, women used to not be able to keep their names because they were seen as property. Wives=property. Blech. To me, my name is part of my identity. I'm not my husband's property. I'm his partner. I've had my name for 31 years and I don't think it's appropriate for me to change it. I'm just not that archaic. Because women fought so hard to keep their identities (birth names) in the late 1800s and early 1900s, I am going to keep mine not only to respect their struggle - but because it's the right thing for me to do.

Here's a little info on the Lucy Stone League: a tough group of ladies named after Lucy Stone, the first documented woman to keep her birth name -

Just call me a Lucy Stoner!

Some women like to say they changed their name because they want their children to have their last name...well, for most of my life my mother has had a different name than I have and I didn't mind it at all. As I said, it's 2011 - there are blended families now. There's no such thing as a "traditional family" anymore and, fuck, I'm glad. That being said, my future children will have their father's last name - don't want to bog them down with too many names. I mean, my feline son has his father's last name, so my human kids will be given that name as well. :-)

Speaking of feline son...he is chewing at my sweatshirt and licking my hand right now.
Gotta go!!!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Special Holiday Gift Ideas for your Honey...

Just in time for Black Friday, here's my list of ideal holiday gifts for your sugar pie...
Sometimes it's difficult to come up with things on your own - Good Vibrations is a good place to start! They have a plethora of gifts - books, toys, gifts & games.....take your pick.

Have fun shopping tomorrow!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Free Entertainment!

I know I've robbed everyone of my sensual writing by not ever having anything available for free. As you all know, most of my erotic lit is available in print. Time are tough and everyone needs a good bedtime story. So...if you're broke and need a fix, I would like to introduce you to a writer named Joseph. He's recently had three sizzling stories published online at Good Vibrations Magazine at

Here's the link to his latest story, The Closet:
At the bottom you can click on the link to all postings by this wonderful writer. My personal favorite is Weekly Dress-Up.

When you're there, be sure to peruse the site. Good Vibrations is a wonderful organization that has been around forever. They're a good resource for sexual education and products! Take a gander at their online store - that's the kind of online shopping I recommend.

Until Next time!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sex Tips From Yours Truly

This is my first venture into "non-fiction" sex writing. I'm very excited to be blogging with Good Vibrations Magazine and trying something new. For those of you who are lucky enough to live in a city with a Good Vibrations store, you know the extent of their awesomeness. If I want to write a how-to book someday, I better get this advising role down. I'm definitely bossy enough to embrace this kind of role. And I love writing about sex, so I guess I'm in luck!
Take a break from work and read it!

Thanks for reading!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

THE MARILYN PHASE also available on Amazon!

If you have a kindle - in addition to downloading The Marilyn Phase from the publisher's site (, you can get it while it's hot on AMAZON.COM!

Perfect reading material for work or school!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Buy my work!!!

Buy my new hot story,


on the publisher's website! It's my FIRST solo release so I'm very excited. I am hoping to write for loveyoudivine in the future.

Please Please Please download it!


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Solo Release September 8, 2010!

My first solo release comes out September 8, 2010!
Loveyoudivine alterotica is releasing it as an e-story which will be available on their site and other outlets.
The story, The Marilyn Phase, is about a woman's summer fling in Palm Springs.
My love of Marilyn Monroe inspired this sizzling 40-page tale.
More details will follow...the where whens whys and hows....
Just wanted to share the exciting news!