Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The most confusing experience

Wow. I don't even know what to say. I am so confused right now. Wednesdays, for the past six weeks, have been my Beverly Hills community ed yoga nights. Tonight was supposed to be the last class. I marched out of the house with my yoga mat saying to Tim, "I don't really feel like going to yoga tonight but I should." Deep down inside I knew it would make me feel better and, of course, relax me. It always does. I love yoga. I was just feeling a little lazy.

When I entered the yoga room, there were three other women besides me. Our teacher wasn't there. Instead, I noticed a young ethnic woman practicing her dance moves in front of the mirror. I thought she might have just stopped off to use the mirrors or something and paid no attention. I laid out my mat and got the blankets ready. The other women did the same thing. Our regular teacher never showed. Instead, the dancing gal turned on loud music and started shouting at us to move heads and stretch our necks. She continued barking orders for stretches that were more like aerobics stretches. My face showed my deep confusion. When she yelled at us to plie down to the ground I looked over to see the older women attempt it. It was sad. Keep in mind that not only is this class community education, it's "adult" community education, meaning a lot of senior citizens take part. There were only four of us in the class and only half of us could do what she was ordering us to do. When one woman questioned, "are these yoga stretches?" She answered very firmly, "every stretch is a yoga stretch."

Whoa. Hold up. I've done enough yoga in my time to know that this is NOT true. And doing yoga to hip hop, soul, and The Police really does not work for me.

Apparently I wasn't the only one it didn't work for because the oldest woman left the class with me about five minutes into it. I had to borrow her phone to call Tim to come get me.

My brain is still in shock. What the f*** just happened?

1 comment:

alaynemarie said...

the ETHNIC lady was a fill in. And given it was a community class, she just hit a quota number for the community. Oh, and the fact that she was barking at you was kind encouragement. I mean really what else could "sit the f--- down on the mat, shut your f---ing trap, and put those cankles in the air ladies" mean? haha!