Monday, April 13, 2009

Pigeon Poo

It is true that the USPS is after me. Not only did they neglect to track a piece of important certified mail, they aren't too keen on delivering my sister's personalized bridal shower invitations to me. This is why I pay my bills online. Remember when they were lovely enough to hold my mail (without informing me) for two weeks? Yeah, there was that incident. Plus there was that time when items from The Flesh Farm archive were lost and, oh yeah, that time when I thought my postal carrier was reading my porn. 

The only pieces of mail I got today were bad news. Bad news on top of a damn annoying Monday do not cheer me up. Even a pigeon thought it was a "shit on Jolene" day when he dribbled a bit of poo onto my leg as I ate my sandwich outside on my lunch hour.

The only thing I have to look forward to this evening is a bubble bath, a heating pad to relax my neck and shoulder muscles, and the sweet hum of my television. The day just needs to stop. 

On a cheerier note, my blog interview is getting closer. So on the 20th, please come back here as I will be the featured author from Jolie du Pre's SWING! on that day. 

As of now I've been writing for hours, but ate a brownie and did a video chat with my boyfriend to break up the process. Tomorrow night I look forward to a 10K jog and American Idol. 

Thank God for Lionel Richie radio on Pandora and Thank God for ebay jewelry. 

Let's hope tomorrow is lovelier....


Jeremy Edwards said...

Maybe you could train the pigeon to carry your mail. He might do a better job than the present mail carrier ... and clearly he owes you one.

Jolene said...

Oh I forgot to's not just one mail's many. In different places in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills. Conspiracy.

alaynemarie said...

Although I must admit, USPS is a business that is in need of a major overhaul, at least they get a package to its intended receipent MOST of the time. I can't tell you HOW MANY packages DHL, UPS, & FEDEX has lost! At a higher cost than the postal service. urg!

Michael Hemmingson said...

Remember when your butt plugs almost spilled out of the crushed box? ;)

Jolene said...

Alayne - it's not just once in a while, it's 85% of the time that things are lost or abused by USPS (see butt plug comment). In fact, just yesterday I received a bridal shower invitation sent out the day before addressed to Boise, ID. That's right - they sent the invitation to me at the RETURN ADDRESS. NOT THE LARGE BLARING ADDRESS ON THE FRONT OF THE ENVELOPE.